I’m going through a rough patch right now, and will stipulate – I’m an emotional spender. (I used to be an emotional eater too, but thankfully I seem to have that under control). The more stressed and unhappy I am, the more I chafe trying to stay within our budget. Goals? Sure, but why. They become less important. I get cranky because I want to go out to dinner, but it’s not in the budget. A pedicure? No money for that.
I know I wasn’t happier before we started tackling our debt, but sometimes it seems that way – even though we may have been paying 20+% interest on our credit cards, I could grab takeout, or get a pedicure, or buy myself cute shoes or a new book. Not realizing how much of a hole I was digging allowed me to blindly buy.
Now, I’m emotionally a wreck, and resent the heck out of our budget, and the knowledge that sure, I could spend. But I’ll be paying for it for a long time, and all I’m doing is digging a deeper hole (and the hole, and feeling trapped, is contributing to my current emotional state).
We’re not super frugal. We cut in a lot of areas (food, clothing) in order to have other things (a new house, our triathlon hobby). We hardly ever go out for dinner, we had takeout pizza last week for the first time in at least 2 months, and as for movies? Maybe 3-4 a year, with coupons and discount snacks. At the cheap theatre! We used to do these things a lot more often. I miss doing these things. And every time I run the budget to try to find a little wiggle room, I’m left empty.
The answer would seem to be, earn more money. And we’re trying – we advertising side hustles, we’re still trying to find someone to rent our spare room (no luck yet). I’m even applying for part time jobs at local retail stores. But you know what? I’m tired. Super tired. I’m not sure I have enough energy to keep doing this, and I’m definitely not sure I want to.
So today is a long, rambling Monday morning post with no real answers and no solid take aways. I’m cranky, and sad. I’m struggling to restrain my spending (I blew most of my allowance and all our personal care money this past weekend – 2 magazines, 2 books, manicure, pedicure, and haircut & colour). I did avoid eating out (points to Bruce for preventing that), and nothing I bought was truly outside our budget – I can blow my allowance on anything I want, and I haven’t had my hair cut/coloured in 4 months – I was a month overdue. But I need to get a grip, and I need to figure out how to stop being sad.
I can totally relate to this post! I know what you mean about the ignorance is bliss thing. I spent the first three years of my freelancing career not living within any kind of budget and spending like I still have my full time job. And I felt “happier” but have created the situation I’m in right now, which is having to work hard to pinch every penny. The only thing I can say is to try and find a renewed purpose for your tight budget. Try to find a way to make it fun or meaningful. And don’t worry about the occasional splurge…you’re probably still doing 10 times better than you used to be before the budget was so tight. What you are going through is totally understandable…and will pass.
It sounds like you know exactly what I mean. I “know” we’re doing the right thing, it’s just so frustrating, especially when I’m an emotional spender and I just want to feel better (at least temporarily!)
Ha – it sounds like someone needs a massage! There’s a lot of days where I feel like this. Sometimes you’ve got to turn off your spreadsheet and go have some fun!
LOL… funny, I have one scheduled for tomorrow morning. And I really, really need it!
Splurging okay is okay and even needed! It keeps balance in your life-at least that’s what I’ve found. I know what I do everytime I want to rebel against my tight budget is look at what it’s tight for-I’ll look at photos of apartments, of weddings and imagine myself debt free. And then I try to wiggle a little bit more to have a carefully planned splurge the next paycheck.
Maybe a picture of Belize, my retirement dream… and a new bicycle for my triathlon obsession.
THIS is why I hate budgets — in my experience, they’ve only existed to remind me that I’ve strayed (or been totally pointless, like my “rent” budget!). Target your savings, hit your goals, and go easy on yourself. Also, add 15 minutes of gratitude to the beginning of your day. It’ll make a difference in your cranky pants.
I should try that – gratitude, meditation, something. I have committed to doing yoga at least once per week this month, and I know that will help.