I’m writing this as I prepare to meet my husband for lunch, where I’m going to have to tell him the ugly truth – the job I’ve been interviewing for, that I told him I wanted to pursue, I can’t afford.

We both knew it involved a pay cut, at least initially. I currently make over $80K a year, and this job is base+ commission; the base being tossed around is $60K. The catch? It will take me at least 6 months to earn commissions strong enough to get back to my current salary (after that, the potential exists to earn significantly more than I do now). The net result, the best I can estimate, is that we would lose between $600 – $750 per month of my take home pay.

I really thought we could handle the cut for a few months. I mean, right now, over $400 a month of my cheques go directly to my pension plan, plus I have other required deductions too. I thought we could handle it – until I ran the numbers last night. The truth is, for us to afford for me to take this job means we cut debt payment almost entirely for 6+ months – minimum payments only. The rest of our budget would be squeezed so tight there would be no room for a single mistake.

I can’t ask my husband to put up with that. We have a couple of options – we are still trying to rent out a room in our house (surprisingly more difficult than I thought it would be). If we were able to do that, we would replace  $400 of my missing income. The risk? If the renter doesn’t work out, we’re back to being super tight. I could also look for a part time job to off set the income loss until my commissions kick in. Unlike my current job, which has strange, unpredictable hours, this job is a regular M-F, 9-5 gig. I’d be tired, and I’d have to sacrifice some training time, but triathlon season is almost over anyway. I could also put more effort into trying to get my side hustles going, making money with menu plans, through blogging, etc.

I’m really torn – not because this was my dream job, although I do think I’d enjoy it and could be quite good at it. I really, really need to get out of my current job, and I’ll write a full post on that soon. I also am tempted by the commission numbers being thrown at me – I could earn more than double what I’m making right now. I won’t say “easily” because it’s commission, and I suspect I’d work pretty hard for it. But the earning potential is definitely there. Plus the organization has offices worldwide, so the possibility of moving one day is there too. It’s so frustrating that our financial situation has put me here! The final kicker – this job is something so outside my comfort zone, I was actually looking forward to the challenge of becoming stronger at doing things I’ve always thought I was no good at. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do these things!